The Teen Owner's Manual by Sarah Jordan

Author:Sarah Jordan [Jordan, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-59474-770-0
Publisher: Quirk Books
Published: 2014-07-21T16:00:00+00:00

Shining a Light on the Bully

Many kids who are bullied are ashamed to tell their parents. This is a sizable obstacle if your teen is reluctant to discuss the situation or if he flat-out denies it. You will need to take action if you notice your child

▪ becoming more irritable.

▪ isolating her- or himself from friends and family.

▪ acting depressed.

It may be hard to interpret these behaviors when you have little more than your gut to go on, but try to open lines of communication with your child using “fact-based” conversation starters. “I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time alone in your room. Is there something on your mind?” Use the informal parental phone network and probe what others might know about your child’s situation.

When your child does open up, he may say he wants to handle the situation himself. He may be afraid of greater repercussions if adults get involved. He might be hoping it will “all go away,” or he may feel so isolated that he can’t even conceive that others can help. Give him the chance to fix the situation, with the caveat that you reserve the right to intervene if it appears not to be working. If he is getting physically hurt, however, you need to move in immediately to ensure your child is kept safe. Fighting can easily escalate when adults are not present to intercede. And no, a little bit of trouble from the other boys will not “toughen” him up.

DOC TALK: I encourage teens to come up with their own solutions, but when you leave your teen alone with a problem, be sure to identify a specific time frame for checking back in: an hour, a day, or a week. Then don’t forget to follow up. This shows your teen that you respect his efforts, but that you are ready to help out at a moment’s notice.

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